So, I recently went on a 10-day silent meditation retreat, and After 10 days away, 240 hours of silence, 190 waking hours of self-study, over 120 hours of Vipassana meditation and more than 16 hours of teaching…What do I remember most? What has stuck more than anything? What do I still think about and learn from? What do I recount to my friends and family?
The stories.
Yes, it’s that simple and that clear. It is the stories that the teacher shared to emphasise the learnings that have well and truly stayed with me. It is the stories that helped me understand the lessons. It is the stories that remind me of what it is I am trying to do. It is the stories that help me continue to practise. It is the stories that keep me motivated through the challenging moments. It is the stories that mean I have taken action to make changes. It is the stories that I share with others to help them understand the experience. It is the stories that spark my friends and family to think differently and it will be the stories that inspire some of them to go on their own meditation retreat.
Story, story, story.
If you are a leader or team member, if you are trying to influence or impact a partner, family member, child or friend, and have not thought about using story to highlight your messages then you may want to think again.
People remember stories far more than facts alone. Some studies suggest that people – your colleagues, employees, customers, friends and family – remember stories up to 22 times better than facts alone.
A wonderful example is a story I heard on the retreat.
One day, while the Buddha walked through a village, a very angry man came up to him and began insulting and ridiculing him.
The Buddha did not get upset by these insults. Instead, he asked the man, “Tell me, if you visit someone’s house do you ever buy a gift for them?”
The man stopped shouting for a moment, and, a bit confused, answered, “Yes of course.”
The Buddha continued, “And if that person does not want it or take it, to whom does the gift belong?”
The angry man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, “It would belong to me, because I bought the gift.”
The Buddha smiled and said, “That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself.”
You know what it’s like when someone we love, work with or even simply cross paths with is angry towards us. Many of us end up absorbing this anger and suffering the ongoing anxiety and discomfort of this strong emotional energy. We can get caught in this pattern again and again. Forgetting it is something we want to work on and try to reduce. This simple story is now a wonderful and constant reminder to remain compassionate while still setting boundaries around not absorbing someone else’s anger.
Our brains run on electrical pulses and when we hear stories, our brains light up. As the brain lights up – neurons wire together, which triggers us to remember more of the information we’re getting. Stories also release the neurochemical ‘oxytocin’ into our system. This is the ‘love drug’ – the chemical that makes us really care and connect. Now we are emotionally connected to a message or business vision and it is emotion that influences us to take action. This is the same for your teenager as much as it is for your team member.
Stories stick, stories make us care and stories make us act.
Want to learn more about storytelling and intentional communication? Check out our 4D Business Storytelling programmes or our 4D OnDemand Storytelling Series