4D’s Top Trends for 2023 – Part 2

Earlier last month, we introduced our Top 10 Trends for 2023 and a big thank you for the amazing feedback from many of our 4D online friends. Having given you the first top 5 tips (1. Energy 2. UBU- Unphased by Uncertainty 3. Communicating Vision 4. Impact 5. Presentations) it’s now time reveal the last 5 of the Top Ten Trends for 2023. So,  here they are…enjoy! 

 

If you haven’t yet, you can read Part 1 here. Also, listen to a commentary of Part 1 on the 4D Human Being Podcast

6. VHV - Virtual and Hybrid Vibe


Hybrid working and learning is here to stay. In 2023 you need to be thinking about your VHV – your Virtual and Hybrid Vibe. There are two key elements here. One, is that fully remote working is over and we will see an expansion of hybrid working and the second is that virtual and hybrid meetings and learning need to be vibrant and engaging. 

While many people are still WFH a lot, the focus in 2023 will be much more on a flexible hybrid model. This means individuals will have their own hybrid work schedule – mixing the amount of time they WFH or WFO. It also means we will all be finding ourselves in a lot more meetings, presentations and trainings that have a hybrid audience.  Don’t be surprised if this year you find yourself in a training room or creative meeting, in person, where you are partnered with someone on a screen who is dialling in remotely for the same session. The hybrid experience will get better and better, with more and more organisations bringing in specialised tech teams to manage cameras, screens and sound to optimise the hybrid experience and make it as seamless as possible.

Secondly, this expanding virtual and hybrid working world means leaders and teams need to get really good really quickly at creating energised and inclusive hybrid experiences. This means putting a focus on your Virtual and Hybrid Vibe – your hybrid communication, facilitation and navigation skills to keep groups unified, energised and engaged when working across different platforms.

Yes it’s about tech savvy but it’s more about HOW you use the tech and how you keep the connection and collaboration vibe alive every day.

  1. Get a standing desk so that even when dialling in remotely you feel like you are in the room, up on your feet and raring to go
  2. Don’t treat in-the-room and remote participants as two separate groups – partner them up and get them talking across the hybrid divide.

4D has a live Virtual & Hybrid Training as well as our 4DOnDemand Digital Virtual & Hybrid course. 

7. Inclusion and Empowerment

In the arena of inclusion in 2023, two key words will be Needs and Neuro-Diversity.

As a year of action, leaders and individuals in 2023 will be looking for tangible behaviours that can move us forward to further inclusivity. The focus will not only be on rights but also on needs. Expanding the topic from dialogue to doing. What is it that individuals and groups need to help them feel more included? What needs to be done to help them feel they are important, that their voice is wanted and that their perspective counts? What tangible, sometimes simple, actions can they themselves take, can their leaders and can their organisations take to really move the dial on inclusion. A huge part of this will be more and more empowerment to a diverse range of individuals, to really put the emphasis on including and trusting a diverse population to feel empowered to act. 

This means leaders approaching daily tasks such as creating agendas, having challenging conversations, giving performance reviews or holding team meetings, with an eye toward – how can I do this inclusively? How can I do this in a way that improves this person’s life? How can I do this in a way that fosters connection? Leaders will not only actively include everyone more but also trust others to take the reins and run with new ideas and projects. These actions may be small at first but they will have a big impact. 

Inclusion will mean proactively seeking the thoughts and opinions of less outspoken colleagues, people you don’t usually go to, team members who you clash with, stakeholders from different areas of the business, colleagues and customers with diverse backgrounds, perspectives and outlooks.  Empowerment will mean upskilling to understand your own blockers and fears to empowering others and recognising what team members need in order to feel empowered to take risks. 

The key questions: What do people need to feel included and empowered?  

This year will also see much more awareness, inclusion and appreciation of Neuro-diversity – ADD, ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Sensory Perception Disorder and many other neuro-diverse terms will become far more familiar and understood in the workplace. 

Neurodiversity is about recognising those who think differently. Depending on how our brains are wired we will all think, move, process information and communicate in different ways. Approximately 15-20% of the population has a neurological difference. Whether someone is officially diagnosed or has recognised they are somewhere on the scale of neuro-diverse, many more people will become much more aware of how very differently we have all been thinking and perceiving for  a very long time.

Moreover that neuro-diversity brings strengths to celebrate as well as challenges to accommodate. When it comes to challenges, we need to recognise that environments and systems can do more to meet the needs of neuro-diverse people.  When it comes to strengths we will be tapping into the potential and creativity of diverse thinkers a lot more.  Inclusion will move from edgy unfamiliarity to an exciting gift that keeps on giving as leaders and teams start to enjoy the richness, ideas and benefits more and more, as well as the fun and enjoyment that an engaged, diverse working environment will bring. 

No matter whether you work solo, in a creative pair, a team or a whole organisation all of us can benefit from different thinkers! Also 2023 is a great year for us all to finally recognise that there is no such thing as ‘normal’ and that we all need to finally accept the end of the mythical idea of the mythical norm! 

The fact is quite simply – no two people are the same. Even us –  identical twins!

What’s more in 2023 it is Neuro-Diversity Celebration Week from the 13th-19th March. A great time to shine a light on this area of D&I.

Tips:

  1. Become a Super-Includer by noticing who isn’t included and actively bringing them in
  2. Move from Feedback to Needback – make those regular check-ins more about what colleagues and team members need in order to feel included and flourish.

Our unique 4D approach that make Diversity & Inclusion Training practical, fun and for everyone

8. WellBeing

We’ve talked about WellBeing for a few years now but in 2023 WellBeing will no longer be just a nice extra or something that organisations talk about but don’t do anything about. This year, will see WellBeing being truly integrated into the working day and week.  This isn’t going to simply be about encouraging people to exercise and eat well. It’s going to become a far more integrated WellBeing plan that helps people stay energised, healthy, connected to meaning and purpose and able to manage stress and their nervous system – everyday. 

Through simple tools and techniques leaders and teams will become super aware and super expert at taking care of their stress levels, work flows, schedules, relationships and conflict hotspots to ensure they move more permanently from survive to thrive. 

Productivity it is still a word that is going to be used across organisations but what will become important when it comes to workforce productivity is leaders and organisations getting the balance right between what they want OUT of employees and what they put IN to their people. When it comes to energy, wellbeing, self-resourcing and self-nourishing, leaders and organisations will need to be thinking a lot more about the INPUT employees need before they can expect the OUTPUT they want. Organisations will see a lot more mini-WellBeing interventions in meetings and over coffee breaks. 

Through digital platforms and at-desk learning – there will be a lot more practical, quick, research-based tips and techniques on regulating the nervous system and keeping the body and mind in balance moment to moment. 

Finally, organisations will see a huge increase in demand for leader psychotherapeutic coaching – what at 4D we call Executive Depth Coaching. Where experts will help your leaders develop at a far deeper, psychotherapeutic and psychological level. Meaning individuals and leaders understand and overcome their unhealthy, maladaptive developmental patterns, triggers, hotspots and ego defences – to live and lead from a far more integrated and healthier place. 

Tips:

  1. Don’t just think nutrition and exercise, think nervous system management, self-regulation, breathing, mini breaks/switch offs, and no more back-to-back meetings.
  2. Think WellBeing in 4D – Stop asking How are you doing and start asking what do you need to flourish physically, emotionally, mentally and relationally?

Bringing together expertise in human behaviour, psychology, psychotherapy and counselling – live 4D Workplace WellBeing programmes and our totally unique, energising and super practical 4DOnDemand WellBeing Series

9. Brand

Trend number 9 for 2023 is all about personal branding. We are going to see a shift in how individuals, leaders, influencers and businesses create their narrative, their branding, their profile and their ongoing reputation. 

Personal branding will move away from identity and towards interaction. What do we mean by this? This means your personal profile will talk less about your qualities, qualifications, skills and identity and more about what it is like to work with you, be in relationship with you, and interact with you. Whether you are an individual or a business what people are interested in is the ‘experience’ they will have being your colleague or your customer.  Yes, it is still about personal expertise but it is more about interpersonal experience. Yes, it is still about product excellence, but it is more about customer experience.  

Whether you are a leader in an established multinational corporation or are venturing out on your own, whether you are a global corporation or an SME, your ‘brand experience’ – in the room and online – is going to become a priority. 

Your branding needs to reflect the commitment you make to your work, team, employees and customers. It will be about what to expect from you when someone chooses to collaborate or consume with you. What do you guarantee in terms of service and timelines? What values and morals drive your interactions? Will working with you be fun? Intense? Structured? Open to risk? Playful? Fast? Driven? Calm? Spacious? As a customer will you make me feel unique? Safe? Cared for? Heard? A part of your community? Important? Creative? 

As a leader, your people are less concerned with your personal brand and more focused on your interpersonal brand. As a business, your customer isn’t interested in you as a dealership but “in you” –  as a relationship. 

Tips:

  1. Rewrite your online profiles telling people your leader style and what it is like to work for and with you!
  2. Ask your colleagues and customers what is their experience of you – celebrate and publish the go
  3. od stuff and work on the not so good stuff!

For more on developing brand, profile and reputation check out: 4DOnDemand Personal Profile Series

10. PRL – Personalised Remote Learning (Accessibility)

Finally, this year all about personalized and accessible remote learning. As we move more and more to flexible, hybrid working – individual learning and development needs to be just as flexible. People and organisations will be looking for the very best in online and digital training that is relevant, engaging, and accessible for everyone, anywhere, anytime. This means online learning that really captures attention and delivers practical tools that really work. Learning will be hyper-personalised meaning individuals can navigate their own way through training to ensure they get the development and skills they personally need rather than a one-size fits all approach. Leaders and individuals will expect to be able to access shared courses in live online experiences as well as digital video modules that deliver key training in bitesize chunks. Dynamic, engaging digital learning platforms for business are going to explode over the coming years, with those rising to the top offering: 

  • super engaging facilitators
  • clear tools and techniques
  • bitesize video modules
  • interactive exercises 
  • fun graphics and animations
  • hyper-personalized 
  • real-world practice
  • tangible application 
  • community chat spaces to share the experience with others 

Continuous development is going to be absolutely key for the generations now coming through the workplace. Training and development courses won’t be annual add-ons anymore, they will be fully integrated and woven into the day to day way of working and being right from day one of starting a new job. This means a lot more L&D will take place on digital platforms and eventually in VR worlds where participants will get to practice communication skills and role-play as their avatars or holograms.

Tips:

  1. Start exploring the best digital training platforms for yourself, your teams and your organisation and in the meantime check out SM platforms like Insta and TikTok for quick-fire tips on communication, conflict and collaboration.
  2. What can I say…check out 4DOnDemand for the best in digital online training!

My personal bonus trend for 2023 is ‘Play.’ We will all be looking for a lot more fun, levity and laughter this year so watch out for more fun coming to the workplace in the form of games, podcasts and events as well as lots more live entertainment.

These are now all my Top 10 trends for 2023 – revealed. Don’t know about you but I am excited and curious and ready for the ride. Let’s dive into the uncertainty and enjoy the changes and opportunities ahead. 

For us at 4D that’s the best way to live as a human being! Or should I say, as a 4D Human Being! 

How Gen Z is transforming the workplace

How Gen Z is transforming the workplace

The corporate world has been abuzz with talk about how to train the millennial generation for a while now. However, times are changing and if we want our businesses to stay ahead of the curve, it’s time we think ahead to the next generation that is growing up and rapidly entering the workforce: Generation Z.

Generation Improviser

 

Born after the mid-’90s and raised in the 2000s, Gen Z already makes up 24% of the workforce. Radically different from millennials, Gen Z “has an entirely unique perspective on careers and how to define success in life and in the workforce” (Deloitte). They’ve grown up during a time of great economic and political instability and are driven towards finding stable and secure jobs. 

However, with the COVID curveball- that has hit us all – has come an even stronger reminder of the importance of a flexible, adaptable and systems-orientated leadership. With an uncertain future and the speed of change accelerating faster than ever before, no generation has needed these leadership qualities more.

So how might we encourage these qualities in Generation Z? And gear our training towards Gen Z and their older- millennial- siblings? We can start to look at what’s new and what’s changing. What are the similarities between Millennials and Gen Z and what are the differences that make Gen Z uniquely different? And what can we learn from these similarities and differences to maximize the talent and energy of our Gen Zers in our workplaces?

Similarities to Millennials:

 

1. Flexibility of Work

One Deloitte study found that 75% of Gen Zers were interested in inhabiting numerous roles within a company. 

At 4D we talk a lot about range- and how- as human beings- we have so much more range than we often realise. And quite often we only use a very small percentage of our range, particularly in our working lives. Whilst this ‘autopilot’ range can serve us well most of the time, it can leave us feeling disconnected in our work and boxed into a certain ‘role.’ So how might you bring a sense of breadth to your Gen Zers role and responsibilities? Encourage them to stretch. If you hear the words ‘that’s not me’ or ‘I’m not very…’ then you know there’s some limiting self-talk going on. And at 4D we believe the unique range of each human being is well…infinite. One only has to look to the world of theatre and study really good actors, to understand that they’re not simply placing a character on top of themselves but stretching into a different part of who they are. And as human beings, we can do the same. 

So, it may not even be necessary for an external role change. How can you motivate a Gen Zer on your team to step into a different internal part of self? Such as their risk-taking part, their organising part, their diligent part, their leader part or their persevering part. Or maybe it’s their inner joker, or serious player or the part of them that sees possibilities rather than problems. So, that they can stretch their sense of self within the specs of that job.

2. Positive workplaces

 

Studies have shown that a positive work environment is important to Gen Z. Up to 70% will look for workplace reviews on websites such as ‘Glassdoor’ before applying for a job. 

A study by Deloitte found that Gen Zers are ‘likely to be loyal to organizations with a positive workplace culture.’ 

Now, of course, it can be hard to stay positive when there’s a lot of pressure on at work. Even more so during 2020! However, as leaders, we must celebrate successes (however small) because of the positive impact of well…positivity! There are numerous psychological and physical benefits to positive environments and emotions like reduced anxiety and a stronger immune system. 

Relationship expert John Gottman has worked out that the golden ratio for successful relationships (this applies for both personal and professional relationships) is 5:1: 5 positive interaction to every negative interaction. A positive interaction doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, it could be as simple as saying “good morning” to your colleagues. Keep filling your emotional bank account, so that you’ve balanced out any negativity for when it does inevitably arise. Because this isn’t about avoiding negativity. If you take the ratio too high- approximately 13 positives to one negative- trust erodes within the relationship. This is because negativity and truth aren’t being expressed. 

So why- given all the benefits- can it be difficult to stay positive? 

Due to the brain’s negative bias, the brain prioritises negative experiences over positive ones because negative experiences pose a chance of danger. This was useful for our ancestors on the savannah – being negatively biased quite literally kept you alive. But now this isn’t so useful. So, we need to update this old operating system, so that it can better serve us and our teams. As leaders how can we inject more positivity into a stressful day? An easy way to do this can be to shift the focus at the start of a meeting. “Which of your colleagues would you like to celebrate this week?” or “What’s one thing you’re proud of?” Simple check-in questions like this start to shift the focus of the team. And what you focus on ultimately shapes your experience of life. 

Do this at the start of your team meeting for two months and see what happens for you- and the Gen Zers- in your team. 

3. Love of Technology

Gen Z has never grown up in a world without the internet, and so technology has become inextricably intertwined with their lives. They are digital natives and have grown up with a smartphone and social media. Which- as the hair-raising Netflix documentary ‘The Social Dilemma’ suggests- has its benefits and its challenges: “Social media starts to dig deeper and deeper, deeper down into the brain stem and take over kids’ sense of self-worth and identity.” So, whether we agree with it or not, the majority of Gen Zers will- to a certain degree- recognize themselves through the lens (or reach) of an online profile. And this is probably true for any of us with some kind of online presence, whether that be Tik Tok, Twitter or Instagram. 

However, social media is not all negative – connecting and communicating virtually can also be incredibly creative. As long as we are conscious and at choice about our use. One only has to look at apps like Snapchat or features like Instagram stories to consider the breadth of communication styles on offer. All these different ways of communicating engage a much wider collection of thinking styles and can empower a wider variety of individuals to have impact without having to say a word.

So, how might you capitalise on Gen Zs fluency and ease with technology? Bring some of these tools into your team meetings and training. At 4D we’ve been taking advantage of some fantastic virtual tools to bring different learning styles and creativity options into our sessions. A 4D favourite right now is Menti– an online polling platform, that has participants voting in real-time, and watching as their votes anonymously show up on the screen. Polling tools like Menti can help you to efficiently scan the team, without having to get a verbal check-in from everyone. With a quick poll, everyone’s ‘voice’ in the room gets heard, without them having to say a word. It also gives you- as the team lead or host- a better sense of what is going on with the whole team, as opposed to just those with the loudest voices. 

 

Differences to millennials:

1. Highly Competitive

 

Gen Z is arguably more success-orientated than any other generation. They are driven and determined and also, more vulnerable to ego triggers. 

Now the ego gets a bad rap but we all have an ego. And we can talk about the ego being big or small but also in terms of being healthy or unhealthy. One of the challenges of needing to be right, sounding clever, or solving a problem can be that an unhealthy ego gets in the way. 

 

  • An UNHEALTHY Ego- is a fragile ego, that feels under attack. The ego believes others have the power to diminish it, so self-punishes or tries to diminish someone else’s ego in order to protect itself.

  • A HEALTHY EGO- is solid and intact. It isn’t dependent on other people to be whole and safe. IT might enjoy praise or win, but it’s not dependent on these things and won’t be devastated if they don’t happen. With a healthy ego, you will be strong, confident and resilient in your abilities, honest about your talents whilst being available to grow, open to constructive feedback, curious in the face of conflict and able to acknowledge mistakes with a clear mind and heart.

So thinking about an ego triggering situation that feels unfair to you. How might you react if you were operating from a…

  • Low-Unhealthy Ego state- Victim
  • High- Unhealthy Ego State- Aggression
  • Low- Healthy Ego State- Acceptance
  • High- Healthy Ego State- Curiosity

Our patterned reactions are there for a good reason. They’re our instinctive reactions and defences that we’ve adapted to keep us safe. So, this isn’t about criticising our triggers- this is about becoming conscious of our default reactions to these triggers so that we can choose to respond differently- as opposed to reacting unconsciously. The difference between the world happening to you and you happening to the world. 

Consider how you can model the healthy ego (in particular the high healthy ego state) by practicing leaning in with curiosity. Maybe you get a tricky question during a presentation or push back from a client- rather than defend yourself or the project or insist you are ‘right’ – how might you lean in with genuine curiosity, and encourage a culture of curiosity for your Gen Zers? 

 

2. Orientated towards job security and salary

 

Whilst millennials were stereotyped as chronic ‘job hoppers’ Gen Z are more interested in long-term job security and stability. Having grown up during a time of great economic and political volatility (they were only 11 when then the 2008 great recession hit) they are interested in finding steady, secure jobs.

However, within these stable and secure jobs, Gen Zers are looking for autonomy. The freedom to work when they want to work, as opposed to fitting their lives around a 9-5 schedule. In his book ‘Drive: The surprising truth about what motivates us’ Daniel Pink writes: “Human beings have an innate inner drive to be autonomous, self-determined, and connected to one another. And when that drive is liberated, people achieve more and live richer lives.”  

In 2020, autonomy has- for many people- been delivered in overdrive with the global pandemic this year. Without the geography of an ‘office’ and the presence of a physical boss, autonomy is perhaps less of a concern than is accountability. So, how can we create a sense of accountability- without intruding on a person’s autonomy? We can encourage self-accountability. Team check-ins over zoom or team spaces where colleagues feedback to their team are a great way of keeping virtual teams connected whilst also fostering a sense of personal purpose and pride in the individual’s work. 

Recognising that everyone on your team is a voice of that team or ‘system’ is a powerful way of empowering people- particularly the younger members of your team or organisation. Your grads and Gen Zers will benefit greatly from feeling respected and trusted, through autonomous work and a model of positive reinforcement and self-accountability. 

3. Entrepreneurial

 

Gen Zs are entrepreneurial in spirit and are often working on a side hustle, whether that be a small craft business they run on Etsy or a part-time photography gig. The entrepreneurial and the improviser mindset have a lot in common- and both have the potential to make great leaders. So how can we release this leadership capacity within our Gen Zers? Invest in training Gen Z early, particularly those identified as having high potential. Whilst they might just be at the start of their corporate careers, they come with a unique perspective on our interdependence with technology and will be the generation to lead us into a century of development and change like no other. Help them become great communicators so they can share their unique perspectives with your wider business and customers, with a sense of gravitas and credibility.

 

This also plays into Gen Z’s desire to find workplaces with a diversity of rich learning experiences and opportunities for personal growth. Whilst salary is important to Gen Z, they are still motivated by work satisfaction. According to a Deloitte study“Gen Z, employers must be ready to adopt a speed of evolution that matches the external environment. That means developing robust training and leadership programs, with a real and tangible focus on diversity.” 

For Gen Z, actions speak louder than words, which is what we’re all about at 4D Human Being. Helping people to mind the gap between how they think they’re being and how they’re coming across so that they can consciously create the impact they choose.

Are your Gen Zers happening to the world or is the world happening to them? 

 

Our personal impact programs empower the Gen Z workforce along the path towards conscious communication and an awareness that they are always at choice. 

We’re all in this together…and ‘this’ can feel very different.

We’re all in this together…and ‘this’ can feel very different.

In this article, 4D’s Katie Churchman is discussing the diverse range of pandemic experiences. Maybe you’re sad, happy, frustrated, jealous, hopeful. And maybe that’s okay. As opposed to labelling them in a binary way- right/wrong, good/bad- can we sit with them in the grey space and see what they’re trying to say?

I love the sentiment behind ‘we’re all in this together’ and I certainly sense more appreciation for community in my own local and global networks. Tom Moore- the 100-year old war veteran who raised over £30 million for the NHS is a great symbol for this shared sentiment. His efforts- walking 100 laps of his backyard with a walking frame- captured the hearts of people all over the globe. Yet just because we are sharing similar sentiments with our global neighbours, it doesn’t necessarily mean our emotional experience of the pandemic is in any way the similar. Even if someone is having a similar external experience- regarding finances, space and social contact- their internal system might be impacted in a very different way.

 

 

Stop comparing

  

Social media has- for a long time- been a comparison trap. When we see the edited version of our friend’s #amazinglife we may find ourselves feeling a little less good about our own. During the pandemic, we may find that some of these impacts have been heightened. Even though we know, on some level, that it’s been edited and tailored to create a certain impact, it’s hard not to feel less than adequate when you learn about your co-worker’s perfect home-schooling routine, super organised house, and the fact that she ran a half-marathon last Thursday (just for #fun!). You may be thinking ‘how is she thriving while I’m struggling to [X]’ (you can fill in the blank.)

Well firstly, know that everyone in your network will be dealing with some sort of challenge. To quote Elizabeth Gilbert from her recent TED Connects talk, “I think you would have to be either a sociopath or totally enlightened not to be feeling anxiety at a moment like this.” We’ve all been challenged differently by this uncertainty and change. So whether we choose to show it or not, we are human, and we’ve all found different parts of this hard.

 

 

I know some people who are completely overwhelmed and exhausted juggling multiple roles- perhaps as a mum, manager and- as of 6-weeks ago- a home-school teacher. And yet at the other end of the spectrum, I know people who are incredibly lonely and struggling to fill their time. The breadth of experience is massive.

All of these challenges are related to Covid-19. And yet they are all vastly different. So try not to compare your response patterns to others. There’s no ‘right way’ of doing lock-down. This is unfamiliar and uncertain territory for all of us and we’re all trying to work through it in the best way we can.

 

Self-Compassionate Inquiry  

 

It’s one thing to talk about the diversity of experience in the world around us. But there’s also a real range of experiences and emotions going on within us. I know I’m not alone in feeling like I’m riding a wave of emotions: one day feeling positive and energized, then the next I’m feeling hopeless or guilty that I’m not feeling more grateful for what I’ve got.

When the negative emotions show up what we can do is lean in with compassionate inquiry. We can lean into the hurt, anxiety or anger and softly find out what it wants. There are many ways of stepping into this sort of internal inquiry and a practice I am enjoying at the moment is Byron’s Katie’s 4 questions.

 

Katie- known for her international bestseller ‘The Work’– has a wonderfully straight-forward approach to self-inquiry: “If I can teach you anything, it is to identify the stressful thoughts that you’re believing and to question them, to get still enough so that you can hear your own answers.  Stress is the gift that alerts you to your asleepness.  Feelings like anger or sadness exist only to alert you to the fact that you’re believing your own stories.” When you believe your stressful thoughts – or any negative thoughts for that matter– you will suffer, in one way or another, sooner or later.

Instead of ignoring or feeling overwhelmed by these negative thoughts, we can choose to get curious and interrogate them with Katie’s 4 simple questions:

 

  1. Is it true? – this is a yes or no answer. If yes, move to question 2. If no, experience it as a no for a moment and then move to question 3.
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Dig deeper.
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe your thought? How does it show up in your body? What’s the impact it has on you?
  4. Who would you be without that thought? Notice what is revealed.

 

“A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.”

– Byron Katie

 

Lean in with compassionate inquiry and find out what information is arising. What does that part of you need to feel safe and secure? Get curious, be kind and try not to judge what comes up. Just notice.

  

You are enough

 

Whilst I’m impressed by the creativity that has emerged from the crisis, I’m somewhat tired by the endless drive to fill this time with something worthwhile and productive. No, you don’t have to write a book, or get a 6-pack, or learn how to cook like a Michelin star chef to use this time effectively. Right now, doing the normal things, like getting up, getting dressed and making breakfast should be heralded as big wins. Small victories in a sea of change.

It makes me think of James Clear’s book ‘Atomic Habits’ and his idea that tiny habits are the ‘compound interest of personal development.’ Whist admirable, big goals focus on ‘winning the game.’ Whereas a ‘system of habits’ focuses on continuing to play the game. This is why good habits often don’t surpass their goals. For example, we train for a 5km run, we run a 5km, and then we stop running. Further still, goals don’t separate the winners from the losers. Everyone entering a competition or interviewing for a job has the same goal: to win the race or to get the job. The difference between the best of the best and everyone else is that the former has a system of habits that support the big goal.

 

A goal might set you off in the right direction. But it’s the small daily habits- or the ‘Atomic Habits’ as Clear likes to call them- that create real and meaningful change. So ask yourself: do you want to run every day during lock-down or do you want to be a runner beyond the pandemic? And do you want to write a book during quarantine or do want to become a writer? It’s a subtle shift but it’s difference between doing something in the short-term and becoming someone in the long-term. And right now, I do believe we’ve been given a rare opportunity to create new habits. But start small. Keep it simple. And stay consistent. What’s the smallest viable step that you can take towards your big goal? Maybe it’s a walk around the block. Or drinking a glass of water as soon as you wake up. Whilst these small habits may seem inconsequential in the short-term, they build up over time. As Clear says: “Time magnifies the margin between success and failure. It will multiply whatever you feed it.” And here’s the math: “If you can get 1 per cent better each day for one year, you’ll end up thirty-seven times better by the time you’re done. Conversely, if you get 1 per cent worse each day for one year, you’ll decline nearly down to zero.”

Writing for 10-minutes each day might not seem like that much. But times that by the number of days you’ve been in lock-down and it starts to add up…

 

One Pandemic. A Million Experiences.

 

This is true of the pandemic and life in general. Even if we had identical lock-down situations, we would still experience them very differently. Because we aren’t the same. Our external and internal worlds are so different, and the challenges vary drastically.

 

With that in mind, can we step-in and embrace this diversity of experiences, within ourselves and in other people? We’ve never walked a mile in someone else’s’ shoes. And equally, they’ve never walked a mile in ours. So, I leave you with a revision of ‘we’re all in this together’: Can we all be in this together with whatever shows up? Can we honour the diversity and hold the paradox within…?

The pandemic is so many things. There’s so much goodness showing up and there’s much to grieve. And just like life, it’s not one ‘thing.’