Maybe you can’t solve all your problems right now. Distribution jammed, resources scarce, staff resigning, delivery uncertain, customer satisfaction at its lowest level. What you CAN do though is COMMUNICATE to an exceptional level.
When things go wrong – it’s not the mistake or the error that has to be the deciding factor… we are all human, we all make mistakes, and we all know other people make mistakes too…But poor communication or lack of communication can really tip us over the edge. Human beings often hate poor communication more than they hate mistakes. As babies and infants, we are not wired to notice distribution chain errors or product challenges – we are wired to notice good and bad communication. We are wired to notice when someone is taking care of us, paying close attention to us and is truly focussed on our needs. We are wired for connection. In your business, whatever deals you are trying to make or keep – it is communication skills and human connection that are the real deal-breaker.
Your business cannot always find the solution to the problem, but it can always focus on excellent communication, leadership and relationship building. Even when a service is disappointing, or when we face uncertainty, loss, change or a crisis, if the communication is good, you can turn that experience around and actually bring some meaning, joy and human connection to your employees and customers’ lives.
I’ve had a number of customer service moments over the last few weeks. Some good some bad. I’ve cancelled a delivery service but had a complete turn-around with a company I had a product issue with.
I really liked my grocery delivery service – they were far more convenient than going to the shops. On the other hand, I wasn’t hopeful about my complaint call to the company about the faulty product – which started with me, not in the best of moods. So why did I cancel the delivery service and yet feel totally different about the company that sold me a faulty product? Simple. The way they communicated. The way they interacted with me. The way they made me feel. As our dear 4D friend and colleague Anthony Etherton would say – it’s not rocket science, is it??! It’s good, clear and above all INTENTIONAL communication.
Take a moment now and think of a time you got annoyed with a company that you have dealt with – not because they made a mistake, but because their communication was poor.
And now think of a time when a company you were using made a mistake but because of the great communication and relationship management – you not only stayed with them but were grateful and appreciated their care, attention and impact on you.
Notice how you feel when you think of those very different experiences. This is the ripple effect on you and your business. Right into people’s lives, experiences and memories.
And 4D is here to help – with courses, coaching, keynotes, plus our new 4D OnDemand digital platform – – we are here to help you, your leaders and your people become expert communicators who can inspire, motivate, energise and turn even the most challenging situations into golden opportunities. Stay tuned for some tips and best practices coming in the next article!
I am sure many of you feel as distressed and wretched as I do at the news coming out of Ukraine. Just when we felt we were emerging from the pandemic, the devastation of a war in Europe crashes in.
I have reflected a lot over the past few days on the reaction around the world towards recent events. As with any devastating challenge or trauma coming into our lives, be it a personal, professional, or global curveball, many of us will be spiralling through a powerful, and complex mix of anger and outrage, helplessness and hopelessness, sadness, and despair, as well as love, hope, compassion, and kindness.
And as many of us watch the often-overwhelming footage of destruction and hear the heart-wrenching stories of pain and loss, we may be asking – What can we do? How can we help? We can donate of course but perhaps this doesn’t always feel enough. While we can admire and appreciate those who hurry to the borders to help refugees, that is simply not an option for so many people. So, what can we do?
Aside from doing anything we can to help individuals, support those in need and stand up for freedom and peace…we can also come back to ourselves and start there. Whether in conflict with one other person or a group or a state – we can rage and blame of course…and we can also choose to come back to ourselves and ask: How do we want to ‘be’ in this? Who and how do we want to be in response to aggression and conflict? Here are three reflections which we hope offer some support…
Behind the Boundary
Strong, supposedly negative, emotions like anger, rage or sadness can get a bad rap. These ‘negative’ emotions can be discouraged or rejected throughout our childhood and into our adult lives. And, yes, getting stuck in an emotion like anger is dangerous for us, our relationships, our society, and our health. However, whether you think about a personal conflict in your life or current events, we can understand the response of strong emotions in a different way. Whether we respond with rage, anger, sadness, or despair – strong and often difficult emotions can carry important messages for us. Anger, for example, can often arise as a ‘no’ to someone crossing our boundaries or ignoring our values. And when we understand anger as ‘no, this is not okay’ then we can start to take agency and make choice in a situation. Fear on the other hand may be calling us to act towards our safety and the safety of loved ones. Rather than getting stuck whirling around in a storm of difficult emotions for days, months or years, we need to understand these feelings as messengers that something isn’t okay, something has to change – emotions as a call to action. Signals sent by our body to help move us to a better place. As therapist Diana Fosha explains, “No matter how scary emotions can sometimes seem, if we allow ourselves to process and metabolise them, they will invariably take us to a good place”. So, if you are in conflict with someone or having strong feelings of anger, sadness, fear, or despair to events, can you listen to the feeling and ask what it is trying to tell you? From there, you can start to act and make choices. You can set boundaries, you can state your position, you can stand up for your values, you can communicate your beliefs and needs, you can feel more solid and sure of your footing and know what for you is okay and not okay.
At 4D we constantly ask the question – “Are you happening to the world, or is the world simply happening to you?” We ask this in terms of leadership, communication, and the impact we make. And this question is as, if not more, relevant when the hardest of times are upon us. When we lose someone we love, when our security feels threatened, when we are hurt, when we are scared and when we see war unfolding around us. It is at times like this that the world can happen to us, that we can feel so emotionally overwhelmed that we are lost in feelings of rage, anger, hurt or helplessness. It is by coming back to our 4th dimension – our intentional dimension- that we can start to get back to choice. It is from our intentional selves that we can happen to the world again.
Be the Change
You have no doubt heard the often quoted and yet highly relevant quote from Ghandi “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
As we face conflict or injustice in our lives, it can be tempting to let our anger, grief or hopelessness dictate our actions. But, if we want to live in a world where kindness, care, love, understanding, compassion, and humanity far outweigh cruelty and conflict or despair and defeat, then where in our own lives can we reduce conflict, increase understanding, reach out with love, or show an act of kindness? How are we living the values we so desperately want to see on the global stage?
By firing up our 4th dimension – our intentional dimension – we can surface from drowning in overwhelming and sometimes paralysing emotions – and get back to choice. From here, we can choose to put into the world and into our relationships more of the qualities we ourselves want to see in the world. So, what one word can you put in your head today that will set your intention for the day? That helps take you from feeling paralysed to purposeful, that redirects your anger to action, that helps you climb out of a spiral of hopelessness back up to a place of choice and hope. You may choose a word like loving or kind or motivating or caring or even playful or fun…by setting an intention through simply putting that one word in your head today, you will change your state, change your impact, change other people’s day, and create a ripple effect that can truly effect change in the world.
By coming back to ourselves and coming back to choice – we come back to possibility. And by coming back to ourselves and then coming together, we are working from the kind of consciousness, collaboration, leadership, and love that really gives us all a chance to build the day, the relationship, the business, the community, and the world we truly want to build.
Let go of the Past
Finally, conflicts can often arise from the seeds of ancient historical disagreements and bitterness. While we might question global actions based on decades or centuries old grievances, we might also look to ourselves and question how this very practice shows up for us. How many of us hold onto old narratives of wrongs done to us in the past that justify our feelings, actions, and choices today? How many of us live moments of aggression or anger, sadness or stubbornness that have their roots in arguments or hurts from months or years ago? Even without knowing it, many of us can still be holding onto old hurts that continue to hurt us every day. We carry those past pains into the present day and live and breathe them as part of our story. What would it be like to let go of those stories? To release ourselves from the past hurts, to choose today to put down that emotional baggage and let it know we don’t need it anymore. That we are choosing to walk forwards without it now. While the pain we feel from past wrongs done to us may be totally justified, when we carry them with us every day, they become a burden that often end up hurting only us in the here-and-now.
I hope these three tools are as helpful to you as they have been for me.
I send you much love and to all of you caught in conflict – you are in so many hearts and minds and prayers.
The Big 4D Equation…The formula for satisfaction and success for 2022…and beyond.
Is this New Year time for a New You? A New Team Dynamic? Or a New Organisational Re-boot? Do you and your organisation need to hit reset? Do you, your colleagues and company need to refocus and re-energise for the year ahead? Are you looking for a motivating and inspiring kickstart to 2022? This is exactly what we are living and breathing – both personally and professionally – here at 4DHB. We are inspiring in ourselves and our clients more than simply a standard New Year intention. Because an intention on its own isn’t enough. It needs energy and action to help it burst into life.
But first let me ask…
How was your holiday break? I hope you found the rest and recuperation you needed. Certainly, for me, after a super busy year, it was a chance to properly stop and take stock. A chance to hit reset, to refresh and re-energise for the New Year and look forward to all the new and exciting opportunities ahead.
To successfully recharge and reset – I quite simply went back to the foundation of the 4D work. The simple and beautiful philosophy at the core of all our work here at 4DHB – The Big 4D Equation. And that is…
ENERGY + INTENTION = IMPACT
Some years ago, this equation quite simply changed my life. Why? Because like many people, I had plenty of energy but was often channeling it into far too many projects rather than getting fully prioritised and focused on a clear intention or purpose.
Sohowdid this equation help? By enabling me to recognise my strengths, connect to a deep purpose and energise only the thoughts and actions that would serve my core intention. It worked for me then and has worked for hundreds and thousands of 4D clients ever since – in leadership and in life. It is a wonderful equation to keep revisiting. To revise and refine as you move through different phases of your journey. It means that you and your organisation can ‘happen to the world rather than the world happening to you.’ It means you can make true change in your life, you can over-ride your old habits, you can be more than your current pattern of beliefs, thoughts, feelings and reactions and it means you can go beyond your habitual, accepted environment – to create a new reality.
“To truly change is to think greater than your environment.” Joe Dispenza.
This is game-changing and highly relevant both at a personal level and for organisations. While, according to PwC, 86% of C-Suite executives believe culture is critical to their organisations’ success, most individuals and organisations fail to make lasting change because they are missing one of the elements of the Big 4D Equation. Personally, we might set a New Year intention but not actually put any energy or actions behind it. Equally, an organisation may have a clear strategy and set of values or mission statements but be unable to inspire, energise and motivate its people to act at an emotional and behavioral level. For example, 75% of people believe their company puts organisational WellBeing high on the agenda but the majority don’t feel anyone knows what to actually do. In other words, the intention is there but there are no clear actions and behaviours where people can channel their energy. Equally, a company may have lots of great energy but be unfocussed or have multiple purposes that end up coming into conflict. To truly live to our values and intentions, we have to get from purpose to impact – with energy. And that’s what we at 4D are super good at helping you do!
Many people have come to the conclusion over the past two years that there is more to life than working endless hours disconnected from deep meaning and purpose, feeling stressed and burnt out – all in the hope of perhaps an award, some acknowledgement or more money at the end of it. In fact88% of job seekers believe a healthy culture at work is vital.
And at 4D we know that “Great Culture plus great Communication is the glue that connects your organisation.” And…we know how to help you truly bring both of those elements to life.
I know from my work as a coach, facilitator, speaker and integrative psychotherapist that when the gap opens up between what we do every day and what we truly care about – then we risk living a very challenging, stressful and internally empty life. Where we end up compensating for this lack of meaning and connection by numbing through alcohol, food, gambling and shopping. It is wonderful that many people are now wanting to reconnect to deeper meaning and purpose. We are feeling the effects of this now and there is no going back. As people wake up to what they truly want their lives to feel and look like and who they truly want to be, we have to integrate that into our daily work lives and our organisational cultures. This is exciting. These are exciting times. We have an extraordinary opportunity to tap into these intentions and this energy that will drive us towards a richer, more purposeful way of being in work, in relationships and in our daily lives.Where energy plus intention creates the impact we truly desire in life, leadership and love.
So many of us are now reconnecting to these more important values in our lives. Values of love, connection, creativity, joy and care. Values that we can live personally and that can also easily be anchored in a team and organisation’s wider purpose or intention.
So that we live and breathe deep team collaboration, real customer care, where we share enhancing, joyful experiences with business partners, enjoy meaningful relationships that are vibrant with respect, consideration and excitement at what is possible together. This is all there for the taking and it’s time to set these intentions – you, me, we… all of us are the current and future culture of our organisations.
If we connect at a deeper level to our real values and intentions and if we energise them with passion and actions and behaviours that match… We will live, love and lead in a whole new way. Our lives and our work will be intertwined with profound meaning, ground-breaking creativity and deep humanity.
And of course sprinkled with a good dose of joy, fun and laughter along the way.
You now have the Big 4D Equation to help you get clarity about both the intention and the energy needed to bring it alive. And if you’d like a real kickstart to 2022 then why not bring us in to your organisation to share with you and your people one of ourbrilliant, insightful and fun interactive keynotesto start the New Year with a burst of intention and energy. So, you and your people can create the impact you really want in the year ahead. Whether it’s around your strategy, your values, organisational change, courage and fearlessness, leadership excellence, brilliant communication, supercharged creativity, enriching relationships, turning conflict to creativity, boosting personal wellbeing, how to be a terrific team or simply to energise and empower your workforce to have the confidence and belief that they can achieve anything –get in touch, we are here to help and excited to partner with you! Plus, we are delighted to let you know that we have a fewplaces still available on our March 2022 Essential Leadership Communication Skills Open Course.
In these exciting times of change…let’s happen to the world. Let’s make clear, conscious choices. And let’s make 2022 the year that your energy + your intention really do create the inspirational impact you and your organisation want to make.
Plus, here are 3 tips to help you kickstart the New Year with the 4D Formula for Success…!
1. Power Up The Positive Think about the negative, limiting thoughts and actions you give your focus to and energise everyday. From the moment you wake up in the morning. Which behaviours and thoughts and beliefs do you WANT to energise. Remember the Big 4D Equation – our life is what we put our attention on. De-energise the attention you give to the worries, fears, or negatives and power up the possible by giving energy to the positive thought or intention that is really going to serve you this year.
2. Dial up you Energy When you talk to colleagues, friends, customers, partners, your boss about what you hope for yourself, your team and the business this year – consciously dial up your energy by 2 points. So, every time people hear you talking about your plans and intentions they experience not only the idea, but feel the extra ENERGY. Because remember, energy is contagious!
3. Micro Modelling
We love what we call ‘Running Ahead’ at 4DHB which means starting to do small things right now that model where your intention is taking you. If your intention this year is to become a recognised public speaker or to get that promotion or run a creative project what one thing can you do NOW that is a version of this goal. For example, if you want to do more public speaking, can you craft a short, impactful contribution to a more general meeting that gets you noticed as a good speaker. If you want to lead a big work project, can you create a social or charity project where you can demonstrate your leadership skills. Don’t wait for the opportunities to energise your intentions – create them!
EP61 – 4D’s Phil & Pen: The 5 Gifts of Christmas 🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁
by4D Human Being
Welcome to the 4D Human Being podcast – and a very festive episode! Some of the gifts that are most important in life can often be nearby … if we are able to see them. Join Philippa and Penelope as we explore the 5 gifts to look for and enjoy during this holiday season. We wish you all of these gifts and so much more. Happy Holidays, wishing you well, and… thank you from all of us at 4D for your support. Enjoy the show. 🎄💫
In this short video Philippa challenges us to think not ARE we creative but HOW are we creative. We are all creative beings and use our creativity in lots of ways. The challenge is often in recognising that!