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“Any day could be the day that changes everything.”
These words have a profound meaning for me. They were a pretty constant mantra of my former partner Tom, who many of you know took his own life in 2016. These 9 words that Tom often said, and of course Tom himself – had a huge impact on me. Both the mantra and the man helped me change my own life.
I wonder if you are aware how much you have impacted other people throughout your life? How much you are constantly impacting other people in every moment? How much in the past, present and future, you too will change your own life and other people’s lives in a single moment, in small or big ways – because of the choices you make in how you choose your impact, how you show up, how you communicate, the words you use and the stories you tell. And all of these things are in your control, right now, for free. How exciting and empowering is THAT?!
And 4D are here to help you take charge of your choices even further with more totally free ways to help you change your life and your impact. With our Free Essentials OnDemand membership – which as it suggests is totally free. Because as well as spending our time building on our decades of experience in business leadership, team dynamics, human psychology, personal performance and wellbeing – we spend a lot of time holding YOU in mind and thinking about how we can help the amazing 4Dhumanbeing that YOU are – to feel more empowered to take charge of your life, your leadership, your relationships, your intentions and your impact. 4D Free Essentials is the first level of membership on our 4DOnDemand digital platform. The 4D Free Essentials membership brings you instant online insights in 4 key areas with modules on creating incredible IMPACT, inspiring STORYTELLING, world-class PRESENTATION SKILLS as well as quick, effective WELLBEING ideas from the world of psychotherapy – that actually work. Meaning you can take charge of your impact and your wellbeing as well as inspire others to a whole new level – today. For free. Meaning not just that “Any day could be the day that changes everything” but that TODAY could be the day that changes everything.
For you and for others.
It’s 7 years since Tom died by suicide.
After losing someone close we often hear the words “I’ll never be the same again.” And while that is true, it’s not only – or even mainly – because of Tom‘s death that I won’t ever be the same again – it’s because of Tom‘s life. Because of who he was, how he thought, because of his ideas, his energy, his creativity, the stories he told, the way he inspired me, because of our partnership, and everything we shared, and built together. In short… because of the impact he had on me, and on my life.
And every single one of you, whatever it is that you do, at whatever level and in whatever arena – you are impacting people in every moment in ways that you perhaps aren’t even aware of. In ways that mean that those people may never be the same again – because of who you are, your thoughts, how you show up and how you interact… Because of the impact you have in every moment of every single day. On the catwalk of leadership – you are always on display. You are always creating an impact. You are constantly impacting other peoples’ lives. So, whether you are a leader or a lover, a colleague or client, a friend or family member, a new acquaintance or a neighbour… are you taking a moment to make sure that you are consciously creating the impact you choose?
Because it matters. It really matters.
“Research shows a link between positive energy of leadership and an increase in job satisfaction, well-being, engagement, enrichment of families, and performance. It also shows that team leaders that produce positive energy help increase team cohesion, experimentation and innovation, team learning orientation, and team performance.” As well as increasing loyalty and trust. Creating a positive impact and attitude as a leader is also contagious and leads to a wider positive impact on the entire culture of your organisation.
Wherever you are in your life – if you are doing okay and coasting along, if you are sad or distressed, if you are stressed or anxious, if you are unsettled or uncertain or if you are basically happy and healthy…you have the chance every single day to become more intentional about your choices, your experience, your relationships and your impact. Really think about that for a moment. In a world where many of us can often feel disempowered and pressured, overwhelmed, uncertain, hurried, anxious, not good enough, barely coping, compromised, defeated, dissatisfied and maybe disappointed with how life turned out…we do in fact have the opportunity in every single moment, starting right now, to change our lives. And all this can happen right now and cost you absolutely nothing. Maybe just a moment of paying more attention. But even that is free. How do we do this? Well HOW is exactly the right question. Because it is all about the HOW. By becoming more conscious of our choices, taking charge of our impact and taking control of HOW we want to show up in the very next moment – for ourselves and for others.
Let’s think about the idea of HOW for a moment. We talk a lot about the WHAT we do in life – our work, tasks, career and roles. We talk a fair bit about the WHERE – where we want to get to, our goals and targets. We even think more these days about the WHY – about the meaning, reasons and purpose of our personal and professional lives. But I am going to make a case for putting a LOT more attention on the HOW of your life. Let’s take a look at these different aspects of your life:
maybe today you work in work in tech, maybe you used to work in pharma, maybe you are now a parent, maybe you’re studying again, maybe you’re planning your next move to become a blogger or a writer or volunteer or a counsellor or who knows… Your WHAT has changed and will continue to change throughout your life. From being a school child, to a college student, to getting a job, to starting a business, to retiring…Your WHAT can change. And we still have to deal with the highs and lows of life – whatever our WHAT.
The where is your destination, the target, the goal, the promotion, the business results you are hoping for. And the thing about the WHERE is – you will only get there once. And don’t get me wrong, these competencies of reaching your goals and hitting your sales targets are all crucial as a leader and as a humanbeing… AND, you will spend most of your time trying to get there and only a single moment actually arriving. You’ll only get to your WHERE once each time.
connecting to a purpose is great to get you motivated or to come back to when you need re-energising. Your WHY may come and go, it may change over your lifetime and it will certainly be different from everybody else’s around you, whatever your company value mission statement claims. Your WHY could be really clear but people may still not want to be around you or work with you. And many people you meet – if not most – may never even notice, know or care what your WHY is. (And in case like me you like a bit of a mind bend…from an existential perspective or indeed from a curious child’s perspective the question ‘Why?’ can lead to the problem of infinite regress, meaning any explanation to the question ‘why’ always needs a further explanation. If you ask ‘why’ enough times, it is, as they say, ‘Turtles All the Way Down.’ Meaning asking Why? to your Why? will eventually lead to ‘because it just is!’)
So, then we come to your…
Your HOW is in your hands in every single moment of every single day, wherever you’re going, whatever you’re doing and why ever you’re doing it. Every single moment of every single day you have the chance to choose HOW you show up, HOW you inspire others, HOW you engage, HOW you communicate, HOW you take care of your wellbeing, HOW are you are as a leader, as a colleague, HOW it is to meet you for the first time, HOW it is to be in a room with you, HOW it feels to work with you, HOW you are as a human being – as a 4DHumanBeing. … These are the choices you have in every single moment. And many people you meet – if not most – will definitely notice, know and care what your HOW is. Because HOW you are will impact absolutely everyone around you in every moment. HOW we impact each other can lead to so much creativity, self-belief, insights, learning, excitement, possibilities, life changes, turning points and moments of shared joy.