Welcome to the 4D Human Being Podcast. We are celebrating the foundations of what it takes to consciously create impact when we communicate and really be ‘at choice’ when creating our experience of life. And for us at 4D this comes down to The Big Equation … Energy + Intention = Impact. Join Philippa and Penelope as they discuss the fundamental and exciting approach of choosing our energy and focusing our intention. Living as 4D Human Beings and taking control of how we want to communicate, what we want to create and who we want to be in our lives. Check out more at 4Dhumanbeing.com. Enjoy the show!
Welcome to the 4D Human Being podcast – and a very festive episode! Some of the gifts that are most important in life can often be nearby … if we are able to see them. Join Philippa and Penelope as we explore the 5 gifts to look for and enjoy during this holiday season. We wish you all of these gifts and so much more. Happy Holidays, wishing you well, and… thank you from all of us at 4D for your support. Enjoy the show. 🎄💫
Are you exhausted? Stressed? Burnt out? Beyond your capacity or just not coping?
Do you know friends and colleagues who would also say yes to these questions?
You’ve reached the end of your tether. We can all do it! We’ve all had those moments where our capacity bowl is so full that one bad bit of customer service, one smashed glass, one frustrating phone call with the electricity company or one set of unexpected roadworks can totally tip us over the edge. Until we are quite literally crying over spilt milk. I’m right with you… and it’s okay – we’re all human.
It’s one thing to recognise the symptoms of burnout or stress and to take time out to look after yourself. More and more we are seeing individuals and leaders who ignore or don’t recognise the stress signs and double down on their levels of overwhelm by putting on a public mask and working hard to make it seem they are coping fine. What we are calling the second pandemic – “the Pandemic of Pretence”. This pandemic is affecting those people and leaders who are ‘coping’ by putting on the jolly front, the positive facade, the happy face, who are feeling the necessity to act strong, motivate others, be the leader they feel they should be and push away or hide some of those very real feelings underneath.
The problem is that by putting on a front, we are actually doing ourselves far more harm than if we simply acknowledged that we are not entirely coping. The bigger the gap between how we feel we should show up in the world and how we are really feeling, the bigger our chances of even worse emotional burnout, mental fatigue and physical illness.
Not only that but in terms of your leadership skills, your performance and your creativity, you are far better off being in touch with what’s really going on for you than pretending. Pretence is neither a top performing, truly collaborative or highly creative space to be in. We are far more healthy, creative, connected and successful when we are in touch with our true selves and true talents. In other words, the real leader is the better leader.
So, if you know that you are putting on a front and inside you have a stressful or negative narrative that is a long way from that façade, then you might be contaiged by the pandemic of pretence. If you are only letting the world see your ‘turned out half or shopfront ‘ as psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott called it – then you are denying to others and to yourself what’s really going on and it might just be time to ‘get real!’ The more you close the gap between how you think you should be in the world and how you really feel the better you are serving yourself and others. So, let’s get real with some super practical tips on how to not only deal with burnout but deal with burnout bluff. Let’s say goodbye to the pandemic of pretence and get down with how we really feel – let’s get real.
Here are six tips to help you close that gap, reduce the pretence, get in touch with what’s really going on, be an even better colleague and turn up – not as a pretend leader – but as a truly Real Leader…in all 4 dimensions, all 2 contexts. The 4D2C of peak WellBeing, Leadership and Performance.
1. Physical Dimension
Slouch it! Tip one is change your posture.
Change your posture from stiff, upright and in fix, solve and ‘be brilliant’ mode to a posture that connects you more with your body and your self. Try moving from ‘solve it’ to ‘slouch it’. Lean over to your side, curl one foot under you and sit like you might sit chatting to a friend in the pub or on the sofa with a family member. Let your body tell you that you are relaxed, safe and simply connecting with your colleague or team member rather than bracing, fixing or solving all the time.
2. Emotional dimension
Open it! Take 20 seconds before your next meeting to check-in with the feeling in your belly.
Stop trying to push it away or hide from it but imagine it is a message that needs opening up and reading. Ask the challenging feeling in your belly or chest… What are you trying to tell me? What do you want right now? What are you telling me I need? The more we push our emotions away the more harm we are doing to ourselves. Emotions aren’t the problem, ignoring them is. Your emotions are simply messengers that are trying to tell you something. Is your feeling anger, sadness, frustration, or fear? If you grab that emotion and open it up – what’s the message inside? Do you need a break, do you need to call a friend, do you need some help? What’s the message inside the emotion? This is a brilliant tool for breaking the pandemic of pretence, helping you close the gap between who you think you should be and how you’re really feeling.
3. Intellectual dimension
We are really good when we are stressed and burnt out at gathering further evidence that things are difficult or going to go badly. We can start worrying and our intellectual dimension goes into overdrive with overthinking. Retrain your intellect to focus on safety cues… What is working well, who is helping you, who does have your back, what is fun about this project, what are the possibilities? When you shift from looking for danger cues to seeking out safety cues you’re changing your internal chemistry and closing the gap between your negative fear and your positive pretence.
4. Intentional dimension
So much of our education teaches us to fix and solve, to know and to be right. When we go into conversations with colleagues or burnt-out team members, trying to fix everything is just more stressful for them – and for you. Try going into these conversations and meetings with ‘curiosity.’ Set your intention to be curious and suddenly you take the pressure off yourself to know, to be right or to fix things. All you have to do is be open and explore and be curious. Curiosity is one of the best intentions we can hold to get our nervous systems in a really good place. Now we don’t have to pretend to be positive and know everything. We can sit in the far less stressful state of simple curiosity.
Context 1: The Environment
Move it! If your office desk has become a location of stress, then change your environment.
Try taking the next meeting on a walk or in your armchair or on your sofa. Use your environment to signal to your body that you are in a relaxed, calm and safe state. Our environment has a huge impact on our state. Your physical state is the foundation of your WellBeing, Leadership and Performance. Take your next call in a different place where you feel different. Where the Netflix watching, popcorn eating, laughing, joking version of yourself can chill out and be relaxed in conversation with colleagues!
Context 2: Relationships
What we mean by this is take 10 seconds before your next meeting to slow your physiology down. The more we run at a crazy rate the more our nervous system goes into fight or flight. When this happens, and the more harm we are doing ourselves and the more we are stressing out other people out around us. Slow it down. Imagine a parent shouting and screaming and stressing at a baby to eat its food. Imagine what that is doing to the baby’s nervous system. When a parent slows down and self-regulates, they teach the baby to regulate itself and that the world is safe. You too can do this for your colleagues and your team members. Slow it down, regulate your own pace and you will be doing incredible, wonderful things for your colleagues’ nervous systems. The biggest gift you can give is the gift of slowing it down. Nothing gets in the way of the pandemic of pretence more than slowing things down!
We hope you enjoy your six tips to go from burnout bluff and the pandemic of pretence, to being more of the real you and the real leader that actually has far more to offer is far more creative and much more inspirational than the pretend version of you. Have the courage and take the risk to close that gap, be real with yourself and real with others so you can really be the leader and the human being you know you can be.
For more information, please visit the workplace wellbeing page on our newly updated website – https://www.4dhumanbeing.com/training-programmes/4d-workplace-wellbeing/
Before you go…
‘I’ is for integration. Rather than stressing to find the perfect life/work ‘balance’, we can actually start weaving and smoothing together life and work by thinking more about integration. Let’s put ‘I’ right at the centre of this new way of living and working. You can start happening to the world, rather than letting this new world simply happen to you. Life is about living, loving and leading all in one big integrated, expansive experience.
Here are some tips on how we can integrate our life and work even more, so that we are weaving and crossing over skill sets from different parts of our lives. Making virtual working, hybrid communication and personal life in the 21st-century full of even more excitement, creativity, and choice – allowing us to live our full potential and dreams.
Remember…it all begins with the letter ‘I’.
We talk a lot about the impact that we make at work and how we communicate with colleagues but have you ever thought about the impact you make on your nearest and dearest? The truth is we can often bring our worst selves to the people who love us the most. To live an even fuller and more expansive experience of life, become more conscious of the impact you make on your loved ones – when you walk into a room, when you come back from work, when you’re tired or not in a great mood. Consciously create your impact at home as well as at work and you will create a whole new world of possibility, fun, kindness, and love.
As life continues to move at an increasingly rapid pace, it’s time to get intentional about how you want to shape your life and what level of pressure you’re prepared to work under. Get intentional and make clear choices!
Setting meaningful intentions might mean creating some new boundaries, putting your personal well-being and relationships right at the top of your priority list, knowing when to say no and being intentional about your life and your leadership.
This is a great area for crossover skills. You may not think you’re a great influencer at work but when you look at your personal life you are influencing all the time. That could be influencing parents and siblings, friends and children. If you can motivate friends & family, then you can influence and motivate at work. Equally if you know you have great influencing skills at work but feel powerless at home – start bringing some of your skills to your personal life and shake things up a bit!
Quite simply get the best tech you can to make your life as smooth as possible in this new hybrid world. Think about the equipment that you use…after all you don’t always have to be sat at your desk – what meetings or emails could you write dictating into your phone on a walk? How else can you use your environment and tech to maximise your creativity time and life experience?
This is the opportunity to replace the eight-hour desk shift with a much more exciting and varied schedule by being creative around your tech and infrastructure. After all, hybrid could mean having meetings at the top of a mountain or cross legged in a sunny field. (I’m writing, or dictating, this on a bench under a tree whilst my dog splashes in the stream just opposite!).
This new world of home, office and hybrid working offers us a wonderful opportunity to include more people than ever before. Inclusion doesn’t have to be a buzzword, it can be you inviting someone to that meeting right now who doesn’t normally come or dialling them in from home. It could be having a coffee with a couple of colleagues who are in the office while you’re sitting in your kitchen. It could equally be checking on that person down your street, in your community or circle of friends who might just need to be included a little more often. Even if they can’t get out of the house, that person can now be included like never before.
How we can help
4D Human Being designs and runs engaging interactive seminars, workshops, trainings and keynote on mastering the art of communicating in a hybrid world. We can help you learn the tools to navigate both worlds – to bring people together, to use creative tech to break down location boundaries, to maximize your personal impact, to engage both online attendees and those in the room.
Furthermore, once experiencing the 4D communication program, you will be able to understand how to adapt presentations, meetings, material and questions to make sure everyone feels engaged and contributing. All of these elements are vital to a strong and resilient communication – the foundation of a successful business. Find out more specifics on how to make an impact during Hybrid Working here.
Before you go…
Welcome to the 4D Human Being Podcast. In this podcast Philippa is talking to American health and wellbeing expert Jessie Pavelka…
More and more people are talking about the reality of going back to work. What does that mean? What will it look like? While on one hand we can celebrate the light at the end of the tunnel and the chance to return to what we are calling the new normal, on the other hand lots of us are experiencing anxiety at this next phase.
Issues that are coming up include how will we agree social distancing? What is okay in terms of boundaries? Will I be expected to go straight back to networking? What stories, narratives, tragedies and difficult emotions will I and others be bringing back to our workplace?
Many of us face these anxieties or at least the thought of them coming soon. While the uncertainty continues, this moment is also a wonderful opportunity to press reset and to make some conscious choices.
Going back to the workplace after such a long time gives us all the chance to make some clear choices around our behaviours and intentions. We have a chance to make a conscious and a positive new ‘first impression’ and set the tone for how we want to be and be seen from now on. So as well as acknowledging the challenges ahead, we can also grab this moment and get excited by the new page we are turning; start writing ourselves a new chapter. Here are some thoughts and tips on how you can take care of your own well-being and re-launch into this new phase with energy, self care and positivity.
1. Engage the platinum rule…
We are all different and this is an important time to respect our own choices and those of others and that they will be different.
2. Look behind…
If people make choices that you don’t like try looking behind the choice for challenges, anxieties and reasons that may inform their decisions. We are all different and we are all complex. Look behind for the wider story to connect to others with empathy.
3. Re-launch your brand…
This is a wonderful time to make that new first impression. You can choose that first moment of impact and set a new tone for who you are in the workplace.
4. Micro moments…
We are all bringing a lot back to the workplace. You don’t have to empty your year of narrative in one go. Take it easy moment by moment and keep it simple with a ‘good to see you’ or a shared coffee break. Your Covid experiences suitcase can be unpacked slowly and you might even choose to leave some things safely tucked inside.
5. Big boundaries…
Use this reset opportunity to set the boundaries on your time and stress levels that perhaps you always wanted to set. You, your team, your colleagues and your workplace will be more focused than ever on well-being. Use this moment to make sure you take care of yours.
How we can help
The 4D team can really help you take charge of your energy and well-being in all 4 Dimensions. Focussing in turn on your: Physical, Emotional, Mental and Relational wellbeing. Our impactful and practical 4D Energiser Program has just the right tools, insights, care and fun to help you, your team and your organisation re-activate the well-being, creativity and energy that will make 2021 the game changing turnaround year, that you can all be proud of.
Treat your team to the 4D Energiser Program, now! Only ONE hour a week, for ONE month, to ensure a super-charged and successful launch into the year ahead.
Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org to find out more or get in touch below!